Sunday, December 14, 2008

Dual-meme transcendence - II: Beyond Good and Evil and Beyond THAT.

Continued from the previous post ...

If you're trying to be good, very good at what you do, or if you love someone with all your heart, or if you want to learn something with all your heart ... you are witnessing the start up of a transcendence engine.
It is automatic. And seems universal.

This brings to mind the 'Beyond Good and Evil' of Nietzsche -

Where he suggests that the strongest people are marked by a cruelty to themselves, according to which they mercilessly expose their every prejudice and assumption in order to dig further into themselves.
"Free spirits are investigators to the point of cruelty, with rash fingers for the ungraspable, with teeth and stomach for the most indigestible".

(A few years ago - before I read Nietzsche, I used to wonder - why is it that we as a species enjoy cutting off the reproductive paraphernalia (flowers) of another species (plants and trees) ... even for purposes like 'offering' them to constructs like 'Gods'. (and people still thought that I was religious, while I was trying to understand the -nature- of religion.) This would perhaps make Nietzsche put me in the 'free spirit' category.)

Now the question is - is being a free spirit cruel to ones self? and what does cruel mean anyway? and what is this 'self' other than code passed on from media (friends, books, school ... ), DNA from parents... this 'self' to which a free spirit is cruel?

What I feel: Like all dual-memes, cruel/kind dual-meme ends up being transcended as well, it has no easy resolution.

(consider this - every time you breathe, you 'kill' millions of micro-beings as you suck them into your lungs. Every time you eat, some form, some being, some structure has 'sacrificed' itself, for another structure to be created. You are massively violent at a micro scale. Scale, not quality.) How 'kind or cruel' can you be?

Dual-meme transcendence - I

Anything that is a dual-meme, anything that has a dual - an opposite, is transcended.

During childhood, sometimes it is a big deal whether a room has the lights turned on at night or not. Eventually, as we understand the nature of light and dark, and learn that light can be controlled, we cease to think of it as a fear inducing element. In fact we cease to 'think of it' at all.

A combination of what we allow our senses to perceive, and how we process them and act (karma) seems to decide what memes our thinkspace will be occupied by. (why is it that I don't have to bother about my throat being slitted by a knife or being shot?) That also decides whether our awareness expands or contracts. By contract, here what I feel is that, if awareness is like a balloon like surface, a highly contracted state will take us back to being intensely bothered about whether a room is lighted or dark, a botheration that was once 'transcended'. An highly expanded state of awareness, might result in a loss of identity of the individual 'self' (which is a very narrow detailed story), one of the strongest dual-memes.

In between - there are a lot of other dual-memes that get transcended. Here are some that come to mind right now -
  • Like trust/mis-trust (I used to find it difficult to decide whom to 'trust' with what, and to what extent ... eventually, it becomes a non-question)
  • Pleasure/pain (this one takes a long time sometimes. eventually, once you know they are the same see-saw (one predicating the existence of the other. two sides of the same see-saw plank ... then after a point, you outgrow the see-saw.))
  • Mine/yours (having a child is one of the events that helps go beyond this one I guess.)
  • Production/Consumption (For a long time, I thought it was 'better' to be producer than a consumer ... (i.e. to create video games than to just play them ...); but if one produces something, someone must consume, then just what is it that makes production better?!)
  • First/Last (I'd come 1st in class in school, but then I couldn't figure out WHY must there be a system where a very small part of a system are in a position that is coveted, when the majority of the class IS not the guy who comes first. Also, why must there be pain on 'failure' or on not getting something 'right' in a 'test'. I tried flunking a few courses, tried 'fighting' my genes, just to prove that I am not bound by anything as mechanical as that. Similarly in the corporate world, I wondered about WHY must all the 'desirables' in the world, go to a minority say 5%, when the remaining 95% remains a big part of the corporation. If a manager is responsible for the entire team, and the CEO for the entire company - is creating a coveted position on top that everybody aspires for the only way to reward and to ensure progress. Can't there be a more inclusive system. Anybody seen the massive minus field around on 'performance evaluation day', well, 95% of the guys can't play the game as well, (even if the rule is to write really good code or some such) and aren't happy. (The root of this unhappiness is another story altogether, but you don't usually get the system till you see beyond it.) )
  • Doctor/Patient (the meme called a doctor is 'useful', 'because' the meme called 'patient' exists. New dis-'eases' will keep springing up. This dual-meme has been transcended and well documented in our scriptures. For instance, among one of the causes of disease as stated in the Caraka Samhita is the unnatural production or suppression of natural movement-forces in the body - the forces that move tears, urine, vomit, flatulence, sperm ... and so on. A yogi, by sublimating the root causes of these movements, can transcend this dual-meme easily. Other simple means of transcending this is to live a balanced life - (maybe, as documented and prescribed in the aahaar, vihaar etc sections of the caraka samhitaa...))

Everything that has an opposite, gets transcended by awareness.

Which is perhaps pretty much everything of what 'is' - in the conventional sense.

Now WHY BOTHER ABOUT ALL THIS ANYWAY?

It seems this process is automatic.
One of those processes that seems to be a part of 'evolution' (?)
It begins with best practices. Trying to live the best life possible. Even with trying to minimize pain for self or others. Or being kind. Or trying to discover what one is supposed to do in this world.Once you get serious with this (by this time, you have perhaps already 'transcended' Maslow's needs-pyramid); you can hit a lot of very difficult questions (if seeing and solving difficult problems and the path of discriminative wisdom - viveka buddhi is your preferred way of life.)

Or even if you want to -
  • be good, very good at what you do, or
  • love someone with all your heart, or
  • know and study something with all your heart, or
  • focus on your work with all your heart
... you are witnessing the startup of a transcendence engine.
It is automatic. And seems universal.
Everyone is a yogi to a different extent.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

notes on the kanji - a new blog begins

imi no bakebanashi 意味の化け話
http://kanjinotes.blogspot.com

Some of the initial posts from the blog follow:

Stories about the ghosts of meaning as they mutate and float around in kanji characters, words and compounds.

意味 imi = 意(feelings, thoughts)+味(flavor, taste)
化け(る)bake(ru) = to change, mutate, take the form of (also implies ghost as in obake - in this case, the ghosts of meaning.)
話 hanashi = tale, story.

Mojibake - 文字化け is composed of 文字 (moji), which means letter, character, and 化け (bake), from the verb 化ける (bakeru), which means to appear in disguise or to take the form of. Literally, it means "character mutation".

This journey is about how imi (meaning) bake'd into moji(characters) and how moji bake'd into jukugo(compounds) and later perhaps even look at how that bake'd into bun(sentences).

It is a record of my journey as I explore the space between reality, the manner in which the ancient Chinese perceived it, and how that perception condensed into the snowflakes we call the Kanji. And further into Kanji compounds. Also perhaps, some interesting patterns that emerged as the kanji were adapted by the Japanese to fit their language. And then some oddities, questions and interesting kanji tidbits.

slowly the kanji,
sink into this mind-ripple,
like snowflakes drifting down to the ground.
each one different, but similar
silent moments of frozen beauty, a clue ...
for this world, that there is another....


Friday, November 28, 2008

Who's the beggar?

There was a discussion somewhere some months ago about beggars ....

here is some ugly hip hop I made up ;) .....


The world is a perpetual beggar.
the stomach when fed,
does not stop,
nor do the ears, the eyes or that
mind on top
MORE MORE MORE till the fella goes POP
reached a high, beg for a taller ladder, don't DROP
have enough, want more,
got it, then store!
work for love? that's a bore.
you're POOR, you beggar
salary raise, more money, more marks
you're not just any beggar
okay don't be sore,
but ... you... you don't just beg,
you whore.

not pretty. but the next time you see a beggar on the street look at yourself carefully to see how much of your own self, mind and body constantly begs for more. And who is the greater beggar.



Yeah, this was about the time when I used to really dislike words then.
Because they can be used to any effect. (Law and Lawyers)
However they are very, very bad at modeling reality.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Locus communis. Some pages from my 'Commonplace book'

Some years ago, perhaps in 2004, I started maintaining a commonplace ("Commonplace" is a translation of the Latin term locus communis which means "a theme or argument of general application".) in a spiral bound notebook and a year later in a Moleskine notebook.

That moleskine was misplaced somewhere in Tokyo in March 2008, thought to have been lost. I found it in a coat pocket yesterday, and thought that it would be a good idea to post some of the stuff here. So here goes.

The last entry in the book goes:
This too shall pass. And that too.
Not always so. This is one accurate, though simplistic model of life.
But must this too be always so?
Bah! Words are lies. And so is this.
Caveat lector.
-Aalhad Saraf ;)

We have a great deal more kindness than is ever spoken... the whole human family is bathed with an element of love like a fine ether. How many people we meet, whom we scarcely speak to, whom yet we honor, and who honour us! How many we see in the street, or sit with in church, whom, though silently we warmly rejoice to be with. Read the language of these wandering eyebeams. The heart knoweth.
-Emerson

The ideal sage does not even cross a stream for fear of breaking its serenity: he moves slowly, as a crane treads the surface of water lightly or as a bee tenderly alighting on a lotus, lest its movements spill the pollen. He regards the very atom as a part of life and walks gently as if by compassion.
-Saint Dnyaneshwar

Gently he spreads his life below other beings feet, so that he may be a source of happiness to them and he treads the earth tenderly like a cat holding its kittens with its teeth so as not to injure them. He raises his hands only to afford protection. Never would he even dream of playing with or tossing garlands of flowers. Such a man is gentleness itself, humble and with an intense regards for all living beings and things as parts and parcels of the one and same Infinite Self.
The realized man is never affected by sorrow or by other afflictions; like the great boundless ocean, he can find room for rivers of grief without being disturbed by them. He is friendly with the whole world to the point where he cannot distinguish between himself and others.
-Saint Dnyaneshwar

The narrow minded man thinks and says - 'This man is one of us' this one is not, he is a stranger.' To the man of noble soul, the whole of mankind is but one family.
-the Hitopadesha

Beware of having an over concern for money or position or glory. Some day you will meet a man who cares for none of these things. Then you will know how poor you are.
-Rudyard Kipling in an address at McGill University, Montreal, Canada

The body is insentient and hence can neither enjoy nor suffer. Nescience gives rise to heedlessness and unwisdom; hence it is nescience alone that enjoys or suffers.
It is indeed the mind alone that is born, weeps, kills, goes, abuses others etc. , not the body. In all experiences of happiness and unhappiness, as also in all hallucinations and imaginations, it is mind that does everything and, it is mind that experiences all this: mind is man.
-III, 115, pg 97, commentary on the Yoga Vasishta by Swami Venkateshananda.

Work - not to rouse pity, win sympathy or adoration; only this -
activity
stillness
as the logos of the state requires.
-Marcus Aurelius

All that you see will soon have vanished and those who see it will vanish themselves, and the ones who have reached old age will have no advantage over the untimely dead.
- Marcus Aurelius

To feel affection for people even when they make mistakes is uniquely human. You can do it if you simply recognize: that they're human too, that they act out of ignorance against their own will, and that you'll both be dead before long. And above all, that they really haven't hurt you. They haven't diminished your ability to choose.
- Marcus Aurelius

There is nothing more mechanical in a persons life than negative emotions.

Study the nature of wakefulness, dream and sleep states and maintain a single state of awareness in all three.
-Light on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, BKS Iyengar

'Sit down. Look and you will see that your thoughts come into you from outside. Before they enter, fling them back' Sri Aurobindo followed these instructions exactly, with the result that in three days, or more accurately in one day itself, his mind was filled with an eternal silence.
- introduction to the Penguin Aurobindo reader

I am made up of substance and what animates it, and neither one can ever stop existing, any more than it began to. Every portion of me will be re-assigned as another portion of the world, and that in turn transferred into another. Ad infinitum.
I was produced through one such transformation, and my parents too, and so on back. Ad infinitum.
This still holds good, even if the world goes through re-current cycles.
-Meditations, Marcus Aurelius

Start living your ideals.
Now is the time to get serious about living your ideals. Once you have determined the spiritual principles you wish to exemplify, abide by these rules as if they were laws, as if it were indeed sinful to compromise them.
Don't mind if others don't share your convictions. How long can you really put off who you really want to be? Your nobler self cannot wait any longer.
Put your principles into practice - now. Stop the excuses and the procrastination. This is your life! You aren't a child anymore. The sooner you set yourself to your spiritual program, the happier you will be. The longer you wait, the more you will be vulnerable to mediocrity and feel filled with shame and regret because you know you are capable of better.
From this instant on, vow to stop disappointing yourself. Separate yourself from the mob. Decide to be extraordinary and do what you need to do - NOW!
-Enchiridion

As a careful mother teaches her child to walk carefree, so the careful mind of the Yogi teaches the senses to be carefree. By continued practice of pranayama, the senses become free of obsession for the things they once pined for.
-Light on the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, Sri BKS Iyengar

Don't defend your reputation or intentions.
Don't be afraid of verbal abuse or criticism. Only the morally weak feel compelled to defend themselves or explain to others. Let the quality of your deeds speak on your behalf. We can't control the impression others form of us and the effort to do so only debases our character.
So if anyone should tell you that a certain person has spoken critically of you, don't bother with excuses or defenses. Just smile and reply - "I guess that person doesn't know about all my other faults, otherwise, he wouldn't have mentioned only there."
-Enchirdion, Epictetus

On character -
Of Prince Albert - 'He had the greatest delight in anybody else saying a fine saying , or doing a great deed. He would rejoice over it and talk about it for days; and whether it was a thing nobly said or done by a little child or by a veteran statesman, it gave him equal pleasure. He delighted in humanity doing well on any occasion and in any manner."

Concentrate every minute on doing what is in front of you, with precise and genuine seriousness; tenderly, willingly and with justice. And on freeing yourself from all other distractions. Yes, you can - if you do everything as if it were the last thing you were doing in your life, and stop being aimless, stop letting your emotions override what your mind tells you, stop being hypocritical, self-centered, irritable. You see how few things you have to do - to live a satisfying and reverent life? If you can manage this - that is all even the Gods can ask of you.
-Book 2, verse 5, meditations by Marcus Aurelius


.... more later.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Existence. Science. Flavor. Manifestation. Shit.

The food we eat, derives its flavor from the by products generated during the process of its growth. Meat derives its flavor perhaps from the subtle salty compounds that were formed as it was being metabolized. Uric acid like stuff and so on. It goes the same way for plants and fruits. Existence is thus perhaps a guarantee of imperfection, as it is a waste product of a process - the leap from byproduct to waste-product being a subtle and easy one, if purity is defined in terms of pure energy that is unbound by time. Although ayurveda makes a good distinction between 'mala' and 'dhaatu'; from the perspective of yoga, anything that is not pure energy is 'mala' like or actually perhaps non-existent. Not just meat and plants ... but I too derive my flavor, my 'fragrance' or 'vaasanaa' so to speak, from how I transform all the food (sights, sounds, thoughts ... plants...) I consume.

So ... manifestation is impurity(in the strictest sense of the word).

Manifestation as we see it is the result, a by product, of a manufacturing process.
Where the pure is separated from the impure. The essential is separated from the non-essential.
Which also brings to mind the word 'science' - that field of human endeavor that is enamored with classifying and separating ... the word root is the verb sciere (L. to cut) which came from proto indo european, perhaps skt. - skheid- from whence scissor, schism, schizo- also come. And also shit.
shit (v.) Look up shit at Dictionary.com
O.E. scitan, from P.Gmc. *skit-, from PIE *skheid- "split, divide, separate." Related to shed (v.) on the notion of "separation" from the body (cf. L. excrementum, from excernere "to separate"). It is thus a cousin to science and conscience. The noun is O.E. scitte "purging;" sense of "excrement" dates from 1585, from the verb.
(from etymonline.com)

This holds true even for the manifestation (also in the sense of avatara) of some of the very highest principles known to Hindustani people. Vishnu had to be incarnated (to be born in the flesh) again as Rama, as a result of a curse (as given in the first chapter of the yoga vasishta)

This is perhaps also the origin of the concept that we are all born in 'sin' i.e. we are a W.I.P (work in progress) ;)

Manifestation is shit. At some level. ;)
So is science.
And so is flavor.


(as always, standard disclaimer applies - all words are lies to some extent or the other on the index of reality.)

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

transcending reality - transcending time.

A few years ago, I started developing a distaste, well, an intense dislike for chronological time.
If I had to create something, I wanted it to be timeless - what is the use crafting sublime architectures in C++ when the very basis of the systems that will let them exist, are certain to change and disappear in a few decades. Not that I might be remotely capable of doing anything similar, but in contrast, consider Mozart san and his music ... it has stuck a few centuries, at least.

Also, when doing work, I kept wanting to be in a state where I did not have to be aware of time. Like a master craftsman.
What was this with time and me ...
(this ties in with some of my meme cards about sustainability)

Last week I had the fortune of sharing my residence with a physicist from Albany, NY ... a quantum physicist. When discussing time, its contrived nature and how the mind fabricates time ... he quipped ... 'You had better become pure energy ... for anything else, time is an enemy of!'
This is very interesting.
That might the business of yoga.

Modern science again seems to be approaching the boundaries of rationality. I wonder why this keeps repeating again and again.

Following the yamas ... Truth, and why science can't understand the architecture of the world.

Let's begin with Satya or truth.
I look at the moon. I say out loud, 'I am looking at the moon.'
I have just lied. Not only have I lied, but I have lied -without- being aware of it, which is all the more dangerous, for it comes with the belief that I am speaking the truth. And that very thing, will prevent me from seeing anything more fundamental.

How? I have no real proof of existence of the moon other than the report of my senses and the result of a carefully constructed series of mental constructs called rationality (which is really a solved problem.)

Yet I say, the moon exists. Like a guy running around in Doom II saying that the sprites that represent the demons exist.

First step towards transcending reality, is to never lie, for that will consolidate the seeming reality of the very virtual constructs whose architecture we're trying to understand.

So following the yama of Truth ... requires me to not speak at all! For the nature of everything spoken - if seen closely enough is untruth! It is possible to mince around, playing with semantics ... and that would perhaps be the job of professional philosophers.

But empirically, it was easy for me to see this once I saw why actions speak louder than words ... actually, certain kinds of silence speak much louder than actions, and give the person who is silent a tremendous power to effect change.

At this point, it was easy for me to turn agnostic (if I am a sprite in Doom II then, I CANNOT figure out the architecture of the OS or the processor ... but that again, makes certain assumptions about what knowledge is and what is knowable), nihilist ... well I could go any number of ways really, but then I wouldn't be any closer to the state of the art ;)
I resolutely refused to conform, yet continued the quest to observe the mind.

(from mid-2007)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

the unanswerable why .... and mistaking proximity in time and space, observation and classification for understanding

Modern science and its derivative fields, amongst other things, are limited in their methods for discovery of truth - that observation (and proximity in time and space, albeit - many times, repeated) and classification is mistaken for understanding or even worse - an understanding of causation. The 'why' is a question - designed to be unanswered. For every answer to a why - can be met with a further why. An open loop. A hole. A back-door through the cocoon of language. Temporary answers to ANY question, based on existing classification models and observations in the time-space dimensions may be convenient or useful in limited local contexts (which - due to the 'value agnosticism' of science .... okay maybe, more on that later), however ... the why remains unanswered.

A self-respecting follower of science, and one very good at his stuff, probably, soon reaches the limits of what his methods can allow him to see. Where he sees that he does not, in fact, understand anything about anything.

Perhaps - this is what happened to Einstein.
And I also saw it in the bluepages profile of a person who was in my 'most respected' list in IBM. In his profile - it said
Expert: C / Algorithms / Procrastination / Abstraction
Strong: LDAP / C / Windows / Unix / Communication
Competent: Korn Shell / HTML / I18N / Build / CMVC / Software Dev &
Support / Sensitivity
Learning: Java / Package & install / Business Processes / Details / Diplomacy
Clueless: Sales & Marketing / Money / Life
:-)

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

sleep, sweet sleep

Some time ago, I didn't keep regular sleeping hours.
On one of those sleepless nights - I wrote a few lines in my notebook -

Sleep, sweet sleep ...
come to me, hold me
in your arms
pray, let me
sink into your lap
enter me
scrub my mind, spirit, flesh and blood
cleanse me
sublimate
sights, sounds, thoughts, food ...
for 'tis all the stuff I ate
for 'tis the code ...
that writes my fate -
joys, sorrows, pleasure, pain...
pray be my mate,
seep through
artery and vein;
be with me,
let your deep dark tresses
hide me;
from that tyrant, time
now let me end this rhyme;
take me.
I'm yours to keep
for the night ...
Sleep .... sweet sleep.

I never had a problem sleeping ever since. ;-)
Sleep, sweet sleep. You love her and she loves you right back. :-D